WWE: Top 5 best WWE Promos ever of Stone Cold, CM Punk and other WWE superstars

There have been some incredible promos in the history of WWE and pro-wrestling in general. We thought that we would take a look and highlight some of them. Here are 5 of the best WWE promos of all-time ahead of Survivor Series 2020.

A Few Of The Best WWE Promos Ever

Note: This is not a definitive ranking or a top 5 list. Just 5 bad-ass promos. Wrestling is subjective and let us know how you rank them!

5) The ‘Total Divas’ Pipe Bomb
Speaker: AJ Lee | Date: August 26, 2013

On the August 26th, 2013 episode of RAW, AJ Lee cut an awesome promo on the ‘Total Divas’ cast. With the Bella Twins and everybody else looking visibly pissed off, we didn’t know if it was a work or if it was a shoot.

“OMG you guys, I just watched last night’s episode of Total Divas and it was insane, oh my gosh. I mean, the Bellas were dealing with their obvious daddy issues. The Funkadactyls broke up and then got back together again. Natalya’s fiancé isn’t much of a man. And the other two were also there.
It was great, it really was, and it was the end of the world and it’s only Sunday nights on the E! network.

Do you wanna know what I see when I look in that ring? Honestly? A bunch of cheap, interchangeable, expendable, useless women.Women who have turned to reality television ’cause they just weren’t gifted enough to be actresses. And they just weren’t talented enough to be champions. I have done more in one year than all of you have done in your entire collective careers. I have saved your Divas division, I have shattered glass ceilings, I have broken down doors. Why? So, so, a bunch of ungrateful, stiff, plastic manikin’s can waltz on through without even getting as much of a thank you?

You guys can’t even go backstage and shake my hand and look at me in the eyes because you know that I worked my entire life to get here, I gave my life to this and you were just handed fifteen minutes of fame. I didn’t get here because I was cute, or because I came from a famous wrestling family, or because I sucked up to the right people. I got here because I am good, I earned this Championship and no matter how many red carpets you guys wanna walk in your four thousand dollars ridiculous heels, you will never be able to lace up my Chuck Taylors. You’re all worthless excuses for women and you will never be able to touch me. And that is reality”.

4) The Cream Of The Crop
Speaker: Macho Man Randy Savage | Date: May 11th, 1987

One of the best promos of the Macho Man’s career came on May 11th, 1987 during a backstage interview with Mean Gene Okerlund. Savage told the world that he was ‘The Cream Of The Crop’ in the WWF!

Randy Savage:

“I’m talking about all the way to the top, yeah. I’m justifiably in a position that I’d rather not be in. But the cream will rise to the top, ooh yeah. Macho Madness, yeah has got more to offer than President Jack Tunney thinks that I got yeah and let me tell you something right now, cards stacked against the Macho Man Randy Savage and Wrestlemania III let me say it yeah, let me say it out loud and let me point to the President of the World Wrestling Federation, The Macho Man Randy Savage is not happy with your decision, yeah. I am the cream in the World Wrestling Federation and there is no doubt about it, yeah, you Mean Gene Okerlund you know that I’m the cream of the crop!”

Mean Gene Okerlund

“Wait a minute though Randy, I’ve got to ask you very seriously, do you blame Mr. Jack Tunney, the distinguished President of The World Wrestling Federation, for Ricky Steamboat being the Intercontinental Champion today?”

Savage:

“Yeah, I do, yeah. Outside interference, yeah. In my moment of glory! Yeah. And now I’m living in a nightmare and I am the cream, and now, not only the Intercontinental Heavyweight belt must fall but, The World Heavyweight Championship belt! Because Hulk Hogan yeah, I am the cream, yeah, the cream of the crop. And there is no-one that does it better than the Macho Man Randy Savage! On balance, off-balance, doesn’t matter. I’m better than you are, yeah and I’m talking to everyone in the World Wrestling Federation. And I’m even talking to President Jack Tunney, yeah. I’m on my way and nothing’s gonna stop me. Nothing’s gonna stop me”

You can watch the promo here. Macho Man’s voice does it a lot more justice than the written words ever could:

The cream always rises to the top!

3) “E-C-F***ING-W”
Speaker: Paul Heyman | Date: June 12, 2005

At ‘ECW One Night Stand’ in 2005, Paul Heyman shot from the hip. Among his victims of a verbal beat down that night were: Eric Bischoff, Edge, and JBL.

“I’ve waited a long time to say this to you Eric Bischoff. In case you didn’t notice, it’s not Paul Heyman with his tail between his legs going to a WCW PPV. You are in our house – b****!”

Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, hide your wives – it’s Edge! Now Edge, I know nobody with a written promo has the balls to say this to you but I have two words for you – Matt Freakin’ Hardy!

And I almost forgot about you (JBL)! Mr Shoot Promo himself, ‘bounced cheques, ECW went out of business’. Hey John, on a personal note, from all of us just to you, since you want to shoot cowboy – the only reason you were WWE champion for a year is because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays.”

This ain’t WCW, this ain’t Monday Night Raw, this ain’t Smackdown, this ain’t even WWE… this my friends is E-C-F***ING-W.”

2) Austin 3:16 Is Born
Speaker: ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin | Date: King Of The Ring 1996

The promo that turned Steve Austin into a superstar. The birth of Austin 3:16. An incredible promo that skyrocketed Austin into one of the biggest stars that this business has ever seen.

“The first thing I want to be done, is to get that piece of crap out of my ring. Don’t just get him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF! Because I’ve proved, son, without a shadow of a doubt: You ain’t got what it takes anymore! You sit there and you thump your bible and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16—Austin 3:16 says: ‘I’ve just whipped your ass!’ All he has got to do is buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird, and try to dig back some of that courage he had in his prime.

As the King Of The Ring, I’m serving notice to every one of the WWF Superstars. I don’t give a damn what they are, they’re all on the list—and that is Stone Cold’s list—and I’m fixing to start running through all of them. As far as this championship match is concerned son, I don’t give a damn if it’s Davey Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels. Steve Austin’s time has come. And when I get the shot, you are looking at the next WWF Champion. And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so”

1) The Pipe Bomb
Speaker: CM Punk | Date: June 27, 2011

CM Punk has cut some great promos in his career. None better than the ‘Pipe Bomb’ that he unleashed on the WWE on June 27th, 2011. This a promo that will live in WWE history forever.

“John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, John, I don’t even dislike you -I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back – I hate this idea that you’re the best – because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s a*s. You’re as good at kissing Vince’s a*s as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne though, he’s a pretty good a*s-kisser. Always was and still is. Whoops, I’m breaking the fourth wall.

I am the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company and I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar and he split, just like I’m splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is that I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship.

I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that is real is me. And the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I’ve proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring and even on commentary.

Nobody can touch me. And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups, I’m not on the cover of the program, I’m barely promoted, I don’t get to be in movies, I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania, I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien, I’m not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn’t sour grapes, but the fact that “Dwayne” is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I’m not, makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now – you are just as big a part of me leaving as anyone else, because you’re the ones sipping out of those collector cups right now, you’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of, and then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and sell it on eBay, because you’re too lazy to get a real job.

I’m leaving with the WWE championship on July 17th and hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. Hey, Colt Cabana, how are you doing? The reason I’m leaving is you people because after I’m gone you’re still going to pour money into this company – I’m just a spoke on the wheel – the wheel’s gonna keep turning. And I understand that.

Vince McMahon’s gonna make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? It’s because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical d**che bag yes-men like John Laurinaitis, who’s gonna tell him everything he wants to hear. And I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon is dead, but the fact is, it’s gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family…

Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon…. You see we do this whole bully campaign…………”

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